The Damnation of Stan and Kyle
by SomeKindOfRomance
Summary: [ONESHOT SLASH SxK] Stan and Kyle find themselves in a spot of trouble.


**The Damnation of Stan and Kyle**

"Nah, that was all you."

"Huh? Wait a minute, do you get off on letting others take the blame for your stupidity?"

I looked over to Kyle. He was so unbelievably adorable. I loved the way he pouted, the way he complained, the way his eyebrows furrowed in anger... I just loved the complete package that was Kyle Broflovski.

"Hello space shot, i'm talking to you."

"Oh, right.. sorry." I looked down at my hands they were covered completely in red. I had no idea how we were goint to get out of this.

"What the hell are we gonna do? It's everywhere. How are we gonna clean up this mess huh? It's big shit we're in Stan.. BIG SHIT.

He was completely right. We were doomed. We'd get the death penalty for sure. "Uh uhhh," I stammered.

"This isn't gonna come out of the carpet Stan. Do you have any idea what it will take to get rid of this?" He motioned to what lay on the floor.

"Kyle.. I'm sure she'll understand. She would've done the same thing too."

"My mother would not have killed-"

"It's not dead Kyle, we can still save it."

He poked at the mess on the carpet. "It looks pretty dead to me."

He was right, I had no clue how we were going to get out of this one. Once his mother got home and saw what happened in her livingroom, she would have us taken away. She was just like that.

"Come on Stan what are we supposed to do?"

I looked over at him with a sly smirk. Why I got an urge to play at a time like this, i'll never know. I brought my dripping red hands up to Kyle's head and took his face in my hands.

"Sick Stan! Get your hands off of my face. I don't want this stuff touching me!" He giggled as I pushed him onto the floor. His white shirt started to soak up the red on the carpet. "Stan stop, I mean it.." I could tell he was having some fun, so I kept on playing around. We both rolled around in the mess, spreading the evidence further. "We gotta start cleaning this up Stan, before my ma gets home."

I continued to play and leaned in to barrage him with countless kisses to the neck. "Oh Kyle, we practically did her a favor anyways." He shot straight up.

"How it this," he motioned with his hands towards the product of our 'deed,' "a favor for her? What am I supposed to say huh? Hey ma, happy Mother's Day, Stan and I accidentally k-"

"Kyle, did I ever tell you that you make me crazy?" I pushed him back down into the mess and gave him a kiss. He giggled uncontrollably.

"Stop Stan, it's wrong for me to feel happy at a time like this." I looked at the red caked in his senior class ring. He was right. This was wrong.

"Yea, I know.. what are we supposed to do? I doubt i'll be seeing you anytime soon after this."

"Yea, i'll probably get life.. and you know, it sucks because it was your fault."

"Hey hey hey hey now... There was no way that I could've done this by myself. Everyone will know once they see."

"Goddamnit!" He knew I was right. What lay before us looked like an action committed by two or more people. "But you-"

"It's on your hands too Kyle." He averted his eyes down to the floor, soaking up the product of our actions, which took weeks to plan. We wanted to ensure that everything went right. We didn't plan for this to happen. "Hey come here," I cooed as I pulled him close into my chest. "Maybe it wont be as bad as you think."

He started to laugh maniacally. "Not as bad as I think?" He motioned out of the window to his mother coming up the driveway, groceries in hand. "Oh God Stan, here she comes. Take me now, while we still have time!" He threw himself on the floor and beckoned me to come and ravage him.

"Dude, I hate to break it to you, but we don't have enough time to-" The door opened and shut.

"Kyle, buhbie, i'm back. Help me with the groceries?" Kyle didn't speak. He didn't move. It was like he was comatose. "Kyle?" We could hear her footsteps nearing the livingroom. There was no going back. We were screwed. There was no way to get out of this Mother's Day present gone wrong. We thought we'd be doing her a favor, getting rid of it and all. She didn't like-

"Holy Moses!" she screamed as she entered the livingroom. She looked like she was about to faint. I couldn't blame her.

"It was him!" Kyle and I both said in unison as we pointed to eachother. Mrs. Broflovski just stood there speechless. "H-happy Mother's Day?" Kyle offered. His mother fainted on the floor with a loud thud. We both sat in silence. "Dude i'm not taking the blame for this. You're the one that k-"

"Aw, awwww, you are as guilty as me. In fact you needed me for this. This was all your idea. You asked me to help you!"

"Yea Stan, I asked you to help me paint the livingroom. I didn't ask you to kick over the bucket of paint."

"It was an accident Kyle.. geez. So she wanted a red livingroom. We tried to give it to her, it's the thought that counts!"

"But... I'm gonna be grounded forever.."

"How long's she gonna be out for?"

"A good ten minutes," Kyle said, his eyes never onece leaving the paint soaked carpet. I took his hands and pulled him to his feet. "What are we doing?"

"You asked me to ravage you. Ten minutes is enough time for a good romp." He giggled and let me drag him upstairs to his room. This would be the last romp for a long time. He was grounded for sure.

end..

yeah.. pointless.. weird


End file.
